Do you know who you are?
Dear friend,
Most of us have felt lost at some point in our lives.
We didn’t know where we were going
or what we were doing.
We had no answer to the question: “Who am I?”
Maybe you still wonder!
Fortunately, what is lost can be found—
even if just a little at a time.
So today let’s talk about who you are.
Any time we get more clear on that
we get closer to being found
and staying found.
So, who do you say that you are?
Well, let’s look at how people usually describe themselves.
Imagine this scene as if it’s June of this year:
I am at the annual BBQ we have in our neighborhood.
I see a young man I haven’t seen before.
I go over to him, smile and say:
“Hi! I’m Deborah Hall. Who are you?”
I’m guessing he’d say something like:
“I’m Derek Sanders. I’m from South Carolina—
just moved up here. I work at Home Depot.”
That’s pretty much how we describe ourselves when we meet:
name, where we’re from, where we work.
I would tell him my basic info, and we’d chat.
What else do we say and observe?
In the course of filling me in further, he might say:
“I grew up on a farm.
My family still raises dairy cattle.
But I knew that’s not for me,
so I came up here where my uncle lives.
He’s an elder in the United Church down the road,
so that’s where I go.”
Now I know some more about him.
I know his family background and religion.
I can guess his age is early 20’s.
I can see his skin is pale,
his manner of dress says he is openly gay,
and he’s got a Biden cap on.
Do we know enough now?
OK. So – do I know who he IS?
Do I now know his identity?
Well, I know many aspects:
He’s a young white gay male Christian working class southern Democrat
who’s come North.
Now, I’m not saying these factors aren’t important.
He may see some of them as central.
He may even consider one or more of these factors to BE his identity.
But…
(and this is where I am asking you to give some thought)…
there are thousands of other people who have these same factors.
So…
do I really know who HE is?
What’s missing from this picture?
What is missing from this picture is his essential core:
what is HIM and nobody else.
The true meaning of identity
The true meaning of identity is not your race, religion,
gender, sexual orientation, political orientation,
class, age, education, profession,
marital status, maternal/paternal status,
family background, country of origin, or citizenship.
Each of these factors may be very important to you
but not one of them defines you.
And you should never ALLOW anyone
to attempt to define you by them.
Your identity is your own individual identity.
What makes you unique.
What is nobody else.
What makes you YOU.
Only when you know your own individual identity
will you be able to fully declare:
“I know who I am.”
Why is that important to know?
It is important to know who you are
because it will mean you have found yourself.
You are no longer lost.
Knowing who you are will give you confidence.
Finding yourself will bring new life
to all your relationships with people.
In a genuine love relationship,
you are loved for who YOU are.
Your unique individual identity
is the core of what makes you lovable.
And it is from your unique individual identity
that you will collaborate with others
to make your unique contribution to the world.
How to explore who we are
Exploring who we are is an adventure.
It’s a quest of discovery.
Are you keen to become a pioneer in the land of you?
If you are,
I am happy to tell you there is a book that provides a map:
The Identity Code by Larry Ackerman.
Larry Ackerman is a gentle human being.
A kind, insightful, powerful guide
with no pre-conceived destination.
He takes you on your journey.
Goes with you step by step
till you see who you are.
He guides you through eight essential questions
to discover the unique characteristics
that define your potential.
A few years ago I went through the steps with him.
I got full clarity.
So who am I?
I am Dr. Deborah Hall.
I am driven by the need to build
the psychological, spiritual and political foundations of freedom
in the lives of everyday people.
Simple, clear, and true.
This is my identity.
This is who I am.
It was a beautiful experience getting clear!
The outcome of my experience with Larry Ackerman
was it moved me forward
to create this place—Solutions—for you.
So…who are you?
Now you have the opportunity to give yourself
the same liberating clarity that I experienced.
The Identity Code would make a great gift–
from you to you.
Taking this exciting exploratory journey
will lead to a whole new discovery of who you are!
Even if you think you already know.
Go ahead.
Be brave.
Go for it!
Blessings,
Dr. Hall
Question:
Were you ever encouraged to ask the question Who am I ?
Who a person is may not be easily shared. I have read about some cultures where a person has a name they use and another name, their real name, that is closely held. They believe that knowing their real name can give someone power over them.
I once read that when you marry someone you marry 3 people. The person you think they are, the person they really are, and the person they become. I identify with the people who closely guard their real name. People who have interacted with me for years do not know me. I hold onto "me" very tightly. "Me" is an evolving concept. I am not the same person I was 10 or 20 years ago. It is a process. I am looking forward to the rest of the journey.
Did your self exist before you were born? Will your self survive your death? Can you describe that self? Is that self immutable no matter your behavior or experiences in a "physical" domain. Traditionally, how one comports themselves in a physical domain has something to do with their non-physical destiny. Adding a metaphysical dimension to the idea of self also makes the idea of self so difficult to discuss with any certainty.