I've been thinking about what to answer and about problems that I have and really, I don't have any problems. I have barely enough money to live on, my bills are paid, I eat well, I'm looking at the end of my life and I can see the door to the next room of the dream. I no longer am interested in politics, I left the US in 2013 and can see no reason to return. I have a loving, caring wife, 2 wonderful step-daughters, and my biggest problem is trying to decide what to eat for supper. I appreciate what you're doing and your openness and loving care for people. Those are rare traits at any time. I hope that you can see clearly for the foreseeable future. The current mess shall pass and the next mess will take it's place. There is no life to be found in political parties, no need to look for it there. Whichever party is in ascendence the same scams go on. As Jesus reportedly said, "Render unto God what is God's and unto Caesar what is Caesar's." Or, as a Zen master said when asked what is Zen, replied, "Hungry, eat, tired, sleep."
The most he can remain in office is 4 yrs., and if the Dems retake the Senate in the mid-terms, they will impeach and this time remove him from office. Then, of course you have to deal with Vance, who, because he's smarter than Trump is more dangerous. If I were the Democrat National Committee, I'd be targeting today's 16 yr. old's who will be eligible to vote in 2026. That would require thinking, planning and allocating money and the Dems aren't too good at that.
It's not a performative question all the time, but as you say, the answer too often is. Despite the temporary political mess, I'm well, and somewhat optimistic about our future provided that we learn from what we're seeing that, Yes, it can happen here, but it doesn't have to.
Your thoughtful and caring letters, the equally thoughtful responses, and the new learning I've derived from many of them, are wonderfully restorative and provide a powerful counterpoint to the Trumpian madness and nihilism. This too will pass, too slowly, and with too much pain, but when it does we will be here together and stronger for the experience. Slava Ukraini by all means, and God continue to bless America.
What has worked best for me is to accept there are things I cannot change. Instead of using up my mental energy trying to change what I cannot I concentrate on navigating the path in front of me.
When I was in community college in 1979 I took a psychology course. One day the teacher asked us to write our problems on a piece of paper and pass it forward. He than began to read them to himself. He got to my piece of paper. "Who wrote "none"?" he asked. I raised my hand. "You don't have any problems?" I thought a moment. My family had two sheds full of firewood, a freezer full of food, shelves stocked with home canned vegetables, I had access to thousands of books in the school library, my classes were interesting,
and a small circle of friends. I could tell that it would mean a lot to the teacher for me to have a problem so I did my best. "Well, my truck isn't running quiet right. I think it might need a set of points." The look on the teachers face was priceless. (A "problem" I didn't mention was not having a girlfriend, but that was none of the teacher's business. ) Now I have a soulmate, am retired, have everything I need and pretty much everything I want. I am healthy. Spring is coming and my seasonal blues are retreating. I post on Substack weekly and some people actually read my writing. A few even like what I write. Washington and a lot of the world is in turmoil. This is not new. The fact is that there is nothing I can do to solve the world's problems. There are plenty of smart people working on that. People who would not listen to me if I spoke up. I have no power over these events or individuals. I do have power over how I treat those close to me and my attitude. I also have an abiding faith in the institutions of the republic. They have weathered storms before. Letting myself get wound around the axel of events and people beyond my control will not change those events or people. It WILL change me, for the worse. I will not allow that to happen. Dr. Hall, you do good work on Substack and you impact people in a positive way. Be glad that you have that gift and this platform. Don't fall into a harmful spiral worrying about people and things you cannot change.
Thank you for sharing this Fred Bassett. I vacillate between one of my favorite quotes by Joan Baez with “Action is the antidote to despair” and have thrown myself into several community level committees where I can be of assistance and make change where I can feel some sense of control; and being exhausted entirely by it all and just taking days off to Namasté in bed with my husband and count our blessings.
Thank you for your empathy and compassion with this question Dr Deborah. I appreciate the way you are planning to put your own personal medicine into this substack forum moving forward! 🙏🏻🌟❤️🔥
At a local level, a person can have an impact. In my world the people at the county courthouse have more impact on my life than national or world leaders. They are also more accountable and friendly.
Dr. Deborah Hall: Provisionally, until experience shows better, the question that elicits the human feelings of the other person in the encounter is, "How are you -- how are your LOVED ONES -- are they well?" -- Wait for answer, looking at the person in the eyes: "It is important that we take CARE of our LOVED ones."
So far, persons are answering thoughtfully, if briefly.
Or, she will tell of a loved one with major illness, in which case you listen and answer according to the person's need.
Each person has incalculable worth and dignity and deserves a listening ear.
How are you? "Pretty good" is my typical response. Kamala's election loss was, of course, devastating. It is still unfathomable how so many Americans could vote for a convicted felon, a misogynist, a fraud of the highest order. And now he is doing his best to destroy the country. He is a sick, sick man. And still 40% support him? It's like, no way!
But there appears to be some hope for us thanks to the Judicial Branch. Lord knows Congress is worthless at this point. The Republican lawmakers are just as culpable as Trump for this horrific chapter in our nation's history. But the courts deal in reality and require evidence to support claims -- things Trump never bothered with.
And where the mainstream media has failed us by normalizing the criminal behavior of this administration, ALTERNATIVE MEDIA -- YouTube, Substack, etc., etc. are here to the rescue. Now we listen to Glenn Kirschner, Luke Beasley, Dollemore, Brian Taylor Cohen, and many others. And check my substack for a short piece on the new brand of protest songs, highlighting The Marsh Family!
For most of my life, the answer has been "Terrific!"
Now I say "I'm OK". All things considered I am personally quite good.
I tested the soil today. The Earth has thawed. I'll probably plant peas next week and start some lettuce under lights. And we are only 47 days from eating our first asparagus. Woohoo.
I would be better than OK if I didn't know that there are many people who are beginning to suffer from a malignancy in American society. A sick vengeful few are in the process of enacting horrors upon the many.
I know how to find a balance in life. I know that if I become miserable all day because of these evil fucking people, I will be giving them power - over my psyche. They can't have it.
I will continue to treat people with respect, volunteer in my community and treasure the good life we have. And it is really good. Rich with friends and family who support each other. And we have the best dog ever born - ever!
But we take a few minutes every day to be angry. Not just upset. But furiously, frustratingly, freaking out in a rage. Because the monsters have been unleashed. And they must be restrained before they kill too many innocents.
There, now I feel much better. Every Friday I have one dry gin martini. Tonight we will toast my mother in law who recently passed. It would have been her 98th birthday. We would scream at the Orange Menace together. Her husband and my parents fought a war so this wouldn't happen. She died happy with family at her side. But she was also very pissed off at the fascists.
I've been thinking about what to answer and about problems that I have and really, I don't have any problems. I have barely enough money to live on, my bills are paid, I eat well, I'm looking at the end of my life and I can see the door to the next room of the dream. I no longer am interested in politics, I left the US in 2013 and can see no reason to return. I have a loving, caring wife, 2 wonderful step-daughters, and my biggest problem is trying to decide what to eat for supper. I appreciate what you're doing and your openness and loving care for people. Those are rare traits at any time. I hope that you can see clearly for the foreseeable future. The current mess shall pass and the next mess will take it's place. There is no life to be found in political parties, no need to look for it there. Whichever party is in ascendence the same scams go on. As Jesus reportedly said, "Render unto God what is God's and unto Caesar what is Caesar's." Or, as a Zen master said when asked what is Zen, replied, "Hungry, eat, tired, sleep."
> "...The current mess shall pass and the next mess will take it's place...."
No, George, this time is different. Hugely different. We've never had a fascist psychopath for a president before.
The most he can remain in office is 4 yrs., and if the Dems retake the Senate in the mid-terms, they will impeach and this time remove him from office. Then, of course you have to deal with Vance, who, because he's smarter than Trump is more dangerous. If I were the Democrat National Committee, I'd be targeting today's 16 yr. old's who will be eligible to vote in 2026. That would require thinking, planning and allocating money and the Dems aren't too good at that.
It's not a performative question all the time, but as you say, the answer too often is. Despite the temporary political mess, I'm well, and somewhat optimistic about our future provided that we learn from what we're seeing that, Yes, it can happen here, but it doesn't have to.
Your thoughtful and caring letters, the equally thoughtful responses, and the new learning I've derived from many of them, are wonderfully restorative and provide a powerful counterpoint to the Trumpian madness and nihilism. This too will pass, too slowly, and with too much pain, but when it does we will be here together and stronger for the experience. Slava Ukraini by all means, and God continue to bless America.
What has worked best for me is to accept there are things I cannot change. Instead of using up my mental energy trying to change what I cannot I concentrate on navigating the path in front of me.
Sounds like a plan, a 12 step plan.
It’s helps to be able to count.
When I was in community college in 1979 I took a psychology course. One day the teacher asked us to write our problems on a piece of paper and pass it forward. He than began to read them to himself. He got to my piece of paper. "Who wrote "none"?" he asked. I raised my hand. "You don't have any problems?" I thought a moment. My family had two sheds full of firewood, a freezer full of food, shelves stocked with home canned vegetables, I had access to thousands of books in the school library, my classes were interesting,
and a small circle of friends. I could tell that it would mean a lot to the teacher for me to have a problem so I did my best. "Well, my truck isn't running quiet right. I think it might need a set of points." The look on the teachers face was priceless. (A "problem" I didn't mention was not having a girlfriend, but that was none of the teacher's business. ) Now I have a soulmate, am retired, have everything I need and pretty much everything I want. I am healthy. Spring is coming and my seasonal blues are retreating. I post on Substack weekly and some people actually read my writing. A few even like what I write. Washington and a lot of the world is in turmoil. This is not new. The fact is that there is nothing I can do to solve the world's problems. There are plenty of smart people working on that. People who would not listen to me if I spoke up. I have no power over these events or individuals. I do have power over how I treat those close to me and my attitude. I also have an abiding faith in the institutions of the republic. They have weathered storms before. Letting myself get wound around the axel of events and people beyond my control will not change those events or people. It WILL change me, for the worse. I will not allow that to happen. Dr. Hall, you do good work on Substack and you impact people in a positive way. Be glad that you have that gift and this platform. Don't fall into a harmful spiral worrying about people and things you cannot change.
Thank you for sharing this Fred Bassett. I vacillate between one of my favorite quotes by Joan Baez with “Action is the antidote to despair” and have thrown myself into several community level committees where I can be of assistance and make change where I can feel some sense of control; and being exhausted entirely by it all and just taking days off to Namasté in bed with my husband and count our blessings.
Thank you for your empathy and compassion with this question Dr Deborah. I appreciate the way you are planning to put your own personal medicine into this substack forum moving forward! 🙏🏻🌟❤️🔥
At a local level, a person can have an impact. In my world the people at the county courthouse have more impact on my life than national or world leaders. They are also more accountable and friendly.
Dr. Deborah Hall: Provisionally, until experience shows better, the question that elicits the human feelings of the other person in the encounter is, "How are you -- how are your LOVED ONES -- are they well?" -- Wait for answer, looking at the person in the eyes: "It is important that we take CARE of our LOVED ones."
So far, persons are answering thoughtfully, if briefly.
Or, she will tell of a loved one with major illness, in which case you listen and answer according to the person's need.
Each person has incalculable worth and dignity and deserves a listening ear.
By the time I was 12, I realized that you cannot depend on grown-ups to be truthful and trauma was something you would just have to face on your own.
For me, an internal guidance system seemed to be working and I needed to learn how to trust it.
Denial of truth is our enemy. Seeking truth is the way forward.
How are you? "Pretty good" is my typical response. Kamala's election loss was, of course, devastating. It is still unfathomable how so many Americans could vote for a convicted felon, a misogynist, a fraud of the highest order. And now he is doing his best to destroy the country. He is a sick, sick man. And still 40% support him? It's like, no way!
But there appears to be some hope for us thanks to the Judicial Branch. Lord knows Congress is worthless at this point. The Republican lawmakers are just as culpable as Trump for this horrific chapter in our nation's history. But the courts deal in reality and require evidence to support claims -- things Trump never bothered with.
And where the mainstream media has failed us by normalizing the criminal behavior of this administration, ALTERNATIVE MEDIA -- YouTube, Substack, etc., etc. are here to the rescue. Now we listen to Glenn Kirschner, Luke Beasley, Dollemore, Brian Taylor Cohen, and many others. And check my substack for a short piece on the new brand of protest songs, highlighting The Marsh Family!
Dr. Hall,
This is a beautiful expression of true empathy. Thank you.
Steve Dundas
For most of my life, the answer has been "Terrific!"
Now I say "I'm OK". All things considered I am personally quite good.
I tested the soil today. The Earth has thawed. I'll probably plant peas next week and start some lettuce under lights. And we are only 47 days from eating our first asparagus. Woohoo.
I would be better than OK if I didn't know that there are many people who are beginning to suffer from a malignancy in American society. A sick vengeful few are in the process of enacting horrors upon the many.
I know how to find a balance in life. I know that if I become miserable all day because of these evil fucking people, I will be giving them power - over my psyche. They can't have it.
I will continue to treat people with respect, volunteer in my community and treasure the good life we have. And it is really good. Rich with friends and family who support each other. And we have the best dog ever born - ever!
But we take a few minutes every day to be angry. Not just upset. But furiously, frustratingly, freaking out in a rage. Because the monsters have been unleashed. And they must be restrained before they kill too many innocents.
There, now I feel much better. Every Friday I have one dry gin martini. Tonight we will toast my mother in law who recently passed. It would have been her 98th birthday. We would scream at the Orange Menace together. Her husband and my parents fought a war so this wouldn't happen. She died happy with family at her side. But she was also very pissed off at the fascists.
She found balance in life. Oommm.
How I cope I have described here https://fittingthepieces.substack.com/p/joyful-piece-87?r=3kuy3
🙏🏻