on waking up

dear friend

when was the last time

you got a wake up call

if you are

like most of us

you don’t remember

we humans have

a highly efficient

built in mechanism

for ignoring

wake up calls

it’s called denial

is denial logical

no

is it

constructive

well sometimes…

but

not when applied to

a wake up call

then

it’s a recipe for disaster

if we stay in denial

when we get a wake up call

we just

keep right on doing

the very thing

we just

got the warning

not

to do

we keep

doing it

until

the entirely predictable disaster

happens

and the worst case scenario

comes true

then

and only then

do we wake up

and start

to do

what we had

needed to do

much earlier

the scenario

every single

one of us

right now

is ignoring

at least one

warning sign

of a preventable

disaster

a wake up call

usually comes

from outside

our self

we are

suddenly alerted

to a danger

we have not

been facing

we have

been oblivious

but then

something happens

that jolts us

awake

a sudden event

or a sudden warning

from someone

a wake up call isn’t subtle

it’s an

in-your-face

alert

a shoulder shake

that says

look bubbo

if you don’t

do something

to prevent ___

it’s very likely

gonna

happen

we get wake up calls

in many areas

health

safety

ageing

spending

addiction

relationships

jobs

politics

environment

and more

maybe our doc

reads us the riot act

if you don’t lose

40 pounds

you are going

to croak

from a heart attack

maybe our friend

says

i don’t want

to drive you home drunk

from the bar

any more

maybe a passenger

in our car

says

you drove

over the center line

several times today

maybe we trip

on our stairs

and almost fall

without a handrail

maybe our dermatologist

says if we don’t apply sunscreen

he may have

to start removing

small patches of our skin

maybe we notice

that our partner

has stopped telling us

they love us

how we deny a wake up call

A. we refute its validity—we see it as untrue, as an unjust accusation and attack

B. we get angry and blame the source of the wake up call

C. we forget all about the warning and do nothing

some of our unfortunate refutations

weight

what do you mean doc

i’m not obese

i’m pleasantly plump

alcohol addiction

sure I enjoy

a drink or two

when i’m out

with the guys/gals

but i’m a social drinker

not an alcoholic

i just want to enjoy life

life isn’t worth it

if i can’t eat drink

and be merry

gambling addiction

what do you mean

i’m a gambling addict

i’m just having some fun

betting on my favorite horses

and sports teams

drug addiction

i’m not a drug addict

this stuff is legal

it isn’t really a drug

it’s harmless

everybody does it

i don’t need drugs

to make love

it just makes

sex more fun

pornography addiction

i’m not addicted to porn

i don’t need it

to have sex

it just helps

get me in the mood

depression

i’m not depressed

i don’t need

to be in serious therapy

or to take medication

everybody feels down sometimes

all i need is somebody

to give me

a little support

from time to time

driving

what do you mean

i do unsafe things

i’m an excellent driver

i’ve been driving

for fifty years

some times we only wake up AFTER

and only start

to eat healthy

after

we had to have

a bypass

we got several

wake up calls

before then

but we didn’t

heed them

only

now

after

we had to undergo

major surgery

we proudly

tell people

how much better

we feel

now we are

eating healthy

we have all

lived this scenario

in one area

or another

it would be funny

if it were not

so tragic

it is truly sad

that we humans

often only change

the way we eat

after we have

a heart attack

and some of us

don’t change

even then

sometimes it takes

a whole barrage

of serious wake up calls

till we are finally

shocked enough

to face

we are

in an emergency

alas

some times

we croak first

or some other

beautiful soul

takes the mortal hit

for us

when actions of ours

cause their death

the precious purpose

of a wake up call

is to get us

to wake up

come out

of denial

and save

our self

and others

from pain

and disaster

before

it is too late

our problem

is

we are passive

we surrender

to our

unconscious attraction

to risk and danger

we listen

to the seductive lies

coming from

the destructive

part of our mind

lulling us

into complacency

by staying asleep

we get to

stay passive

we get to

avoid taking responsibility

we get to

avoid having to act

to protect our self

and others

heeding a wake up call

takes courage

and confidence

we have to

get honest

and face reality

being strong

always begins

with facing

the truth

we have to face

the truth

of the warning

we just received

the only reason

it is a shock

is we have been

buying lies

coming from

the destructive part

of our mind

you don’t look that bad…

you carry your weight

really well…

you’re

a great driver

all those close calls

don’t mean a thing

those idiots

were cutting you off

to face the truth

that we are obese

takes courage

it may require

standing naked

and sideways

in front

of a full length

mirror

this is

very painful

but not nearly

as painful

as a heart attack

or bypass

it takes

courage

to admit

we are an addict

and get into

serious treatment

it takes

courage

to face

that we are not

as safe a driver

as we used to be

nor as safe

as we need to be

now

it takes

humility

to get

a driving assessment

to find out

the main warning signs

of impairment

and take steps

to monitor

and improve

this is

quite painful

but not nearly

as painful

as causing

our spouse

and/or our self

to be crushed/disabled/killed

due to our

preventable driving error

yes

the time

for us to get honest

and face reality

is now

not after

whatever disaster

we are courting

now is the time

to make sure

we don’t

give in

to the temptation

to just

go back

into denial

and pretend

we never even heard

that wake up call

we have to

get bold

and challenge

our wish to be passive

that is

at the root

of our

self defeating denial

why do i want

to stay passive

and ignore

this wake up call

why do i want

to go

back to sleep

and forget

all about

this danger

why would i

run away

instead of

putting a stop

to this problem

that could

destroy my health

and happiness

why would i

surrender

to this dangerous problem

that could

ruin my life

why would i play

the victim

i’m stronger than this

i’m deciding right now

that my happiness

is not available

to be ruined

i’m deciding right now

that my life dreams

are not available

to be destroyed

i’m deciding right now

to take effective action

to deal with

my problem

before

any entirely predictable

disaster

even has a chance

to happen

we can do this my friend

you and i both

have the ego strength

to face reality

we are

loving builders

and we heed

our wake up calls

we heed them

so we can

stay alive and well

to be builders

and protectors

of life and freedom

each wake up call

we receive

is a gift

a chance

to come out

of denial

and save

our self and others

from pain

our ultimate goal

the ideal destination

we are heading for

my friend

is

to not need to GET wake up calls

because

we are already awake

blessings

dr hall