The unity of red and blue
Dear friend,
You likely know a couple
who does nothing but fight.
They spend all their time
throwing accusations
against each other.
“You’re crazy!” “You’re stupid!”
“You’re selfish!” “You’re mean!”
The other partner
is always the one
who is ruining
the relationship.
If you look closely
at this destructive pair
you will see
they don’t even
have a relationship.
They are
building NOTHING
together.
All they do
all day
every day
is look for the worst
in each other.
And they are experts
at finding it.
Welcome to today’s America
We are
the-red-versus-the-blue
and
the-blue-versus-the-red.
We take great pleasure
in expressing contempt
for the other side.
Do you know anyone
on either side
of our great divide
who truly wants
to unite?
I doubt it.
What about you?
You wanna unite
with those idiots
in the other half
of our country?
I didn’t think so.
But you’ve read
this letter so far…
So please tell me
my friend
if we don’t
find a way to unite
with each other
what do you suppose
is going to happen
to the UNITED States of America?
You are absolutely correct.
Same thing
that will happen
to that couple.
To save a marriage
The therapist
Adam Lane Smith
says it is extremely hard
to save a marriage.
He says
the reason is
that most couples
wait too long
to seek help.
By the time they walk
into the therapist’s office
it’s too late.
One spouse has already
made their decision:
“I’m outta here.”
That spouse will just
go through the motions
of therapy
to make it look
like they tried.
Then they will leave.
He said the ONLY way
marriage therapy works
is if BOTH spouses
want to save the marriage.
What does this mean for America?
Well
it looks like
we need to ask:
DO both sides of America
want to save the marriage?
Or has one side (or both)
already made
the decision to leave?
You and I can’t speak
for our fellow citizens.
All we can know
for sure
is how each
one of us
as an individual
answers those questions.
So let’s get personal
Let’s take a deep breath
and ask:
Do I want to save
the marriage of red and blue?
Or have I already made
the decision to leave?
Let’s dig deep
and think this over.
………………
OK.
I’ll go first.
I never ask you
to do something
I am unwilling to do.
You and I will have
different answers.
Good.
I have never wanted
this place
to be
my echo chamber.
Question One
Dr. Hall, do you want to save the marriage of red and blue?
As soon as I type this
tears come in my eyes.
Desperately, I whisper.
Photos of dead men
wearing grey or blue
splayed horribly
on the ground
at Gettysburg
flash before my eyes.
The current rage
between our countrymen
isn’t just leading
toward divorce.
It’s leading
toward blood.
I want us
to see the danger.
I want us to prevent
the catastrophe.
I want us
to decide to stay.
Stay together
and re-unite.
Find the best
in each other.
Find common ground.
Build constructive solutions.
I want us
to say the Pledge of Allegiance
together
the way we did
when we were kids:
I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic
for which it stands
one nation
indivisible
with liberty and justice
for all.
Yes
I want
our red and blue marriage
to be saved.
And I will do
all in my power
to save it.
Question Two
Dr. Hall, have you already made the decision
to leave the marriage of red and blue?
No.
I will never leave.
My Pledge of Allegiance
is my eternal vow
to all my fellow Americans.
It is my word of honor.
In every word I write
and in every word I speak
I vow to be constructive.
I will listen.
I will connect.
I will build bridges
to the other side.
Beautiful bridges
so love and insight
can be shared
in both directions.
My side
doesn’t know everything
and neither
does the other side.
We all need
what the other side
understands.
We all need
to learn things
we ourselves
don’t yet see.
I have faith
in my fellow citizens.
I will never despise them.
I will never place myself
above them
as superior
self righteous
and blameless.
In my passivity
in the face of rising despotism
I am just as responsible
for the terrible crisis
we are in
as my fellow citizen
who thinks differently.
I will honor
the best in us both
and forgive
the rest.
I will ask us
to summon
the better angels
of our nature
(Lincoln)
so we can come through
this time of fear and rage
together
and bring forth
a new birth of freedom
in America.
Over to you
What is in your heart today?
Do you want to save
the marriage of red and blue?
Or have you
already made the decision
to leave?
Take your time
and search your soul.
It takes courage
to face these questions.
We have no choice
but to ask them
my friend
and to accept the responsibility
that comes with our answers.
Why?
Because one day
our children
will ask us:
What did you do
when the government
built Alligator Auschwitz?
To be or not to be
That is still the question.
Do we run
to our favorite echo chamber?
Do we hide out in there
cursing and dissing
the millions and millions
of our fellow Americans
we blame
for this abomination?
Or do we consider
the possibility
that some
of those many millions
are just as horrified
as we are?
Time to reach out
Instead of running away
we need to reach out.
We need to apply
a method
used in successful
relationship therapy.
Take a simple
but powerful step
designed
to rebuild
the core dynamic
of a broken relationship.
What is that step?
One of the most
effective ways
to get a couple
to stop fighting
all the time
is to insist
that they shut up.
Completely stop talking
about their differences.
And instead
resume doing
the activities
they used to do
when they first
fell in love.
They shut up
and go
bike riding together
for the first time in years.
They shut up
and go to the zoo
together.
They shut up
and make breakfast in bed
for each other.
As they do the things
they used to do
when they were happy
they begin to remember
why they fell in love
in the first place.
They start
to experience pleasure
instead of pain
when they
are together.
Their issues and differences
are still there
but now they have
some positive energy
and some motivation
to look at them together
and find solutions.
They are building again.
Your gift to America
The best thing
you could give
our divided America
today
is an open mind.
A mind that willing
to shut up
and reach out.
Willing
to reach out
to just one person
on the other side
of our red/blue divide.
Instead of focusing
on the issues
that anger and separate you
instead of debating
attacking and attempting
to defeat them
instead of dissing them
on social media
you invite that person
to do something
constructive with you
that you both enjoy.
You get together peacefully
with this different-thinking
fellow American.
You go
to their kid’s ball game
with them
without talking politics.
You go to a game in a stadium
and sing the National Anthem
together
without talking politics.
You throw a BBQ
or walk your dogs
or fix up your neighborhood together.
You go to church
or go hiking
or go shopping together.
You throw a frisbee
or a football
or play badminton or croquet
together—
whatever the hell
you both enjoy doing.
You decide
to see this fellow American
as your neighbor
not your enemy.
You realize
we are all fallible.
We all can be misguided.
You recognize
that your neighbor
is every bit as valuable
and worthy a human being
as you are.
You accept
that this individual
holds views
different from yours.
You see
this is actually
a good thing
not a bad thing
in a democracy.
Once you establish
some basic comfort
between you
by keeping your mouth shut
on policy
you seek to find
what it is you share
among the timeless
core moral principles
of our American democracy.
Mercy and compassion
Strength and protection
Life liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
You find and treasure
the heart of patriotic love
that beats strong and free
in both of you.
This is the love it will take to re-unite America
To do this
we must stop
playing superior.
We must admit
that we need each other.
And we must let
the person save face
who belatedly
begins to see
that what is being built
in the swamps of Florida
is evil.
We need to reach out
to this person
as the lies fall
from their eyes.
Listen
with respect
as they speak
hesitant words
of new awareness
and as they have
the sinking feeling
that they voted
for strength
but got cruelty.
We need
to be there for them
with mercy
and open arms.
We are all
prodigal sons
and daughters.
We all screw up.
We just pray
that when
we stagger back
ashamed
we will
be welcomed home.
I can remember when it was common to know someone for years without knowing what their politics were. It just never came up or if it did it wasn't a deal breaker in a relationship. There is nothing that requires everyone you know to agree with you on everything or do things the way you want them done. We as a nation have lost sight of this.
What can people do about Trump's prisons? Even if millions stood against them, nothing would change, and, unfortunately, millions stand with them. I think that the US will have to play out whatever role it's chosen for itself. Every nation, every civilization runs it's course until it bottoms out, then begins to rebuild. 1933 happens over and over again. For over 8 decades I have watched the decline of the US. It's hard to stop a boulder rolling downhill. If people keep re-electing the same politicians, from both parities, nothing will change for the better. Look at RFK jr.; millions of people wanted him to become President. Can you imagine what policies he would have enacted? We have gone from the age of enlightenment to the age of insanity. A marriage is between 2 people, a nation is between millions of political entities, each vying for him/herself. Americans have been taught to fear any system that isn't called Democracy, yet the 3 least corrupt countries, according to the World Corruption List, are all Socialist.