What is love?

Dear friend,

If you are a lonely man or woman
you have many thoughts of love.

You read about all the people who seem to have it.

Social media posts are full of claims of it.

You read endless articles on how to get it.

You spend hours wondering why you can’t have it.

What love isn’t

If it’s any comfort, most of what you read about isn’t love.

Has nothing to do with love.

Most people don’t have love any more than you do!

A whole lot of what you read about is sex without love.

Phony.
As meaningless as porn.

The more you do it,
the more you diminish yourself.

Seducing someone isn’t love.

Hooking up isn’t love.

Showing someone off and bragging about their body isn’t love.

Finding someone to eat at restaurants with,

drink at bars with,

and sleep with whenever you want to isn’t love.

Finding someone to whine with

play victim with

and smugly criticize other people with isn’t love.

Finding someone to share your hobbies

be your constant companion

and save you from being alone all the time

isn’t love.

Using people

If we are in any of these scenarios

all we are doing is using someone.

Using them to fill our emptiness.

Instead of expecting someone else to fill us up

we need to fill our emptiness

through our own inner growth.

Until we have built a strong and full self

we will have little to share

with another human being

even if our ideal partner walks in our door.

So, what is love?

Love is a deep and committed bond

that is created between two souls.

How do we begin to create it?

We dare to let our guard down.

We dare to open up

and reveal to another human being

who we really are.

We dare to share with them

our most private and precious dreams.

We trust enough to reveal the ideal person

we hope we can grow to become.

We disclose the kind of contribution to life

we hope one day to make.

.

A person with the potential to give us real love

treats our hopes and dreams
as tenderly as their own

and actually wants to be part of growing with us.

When this deep connection happens

is when we fall in love

and real love begins.

A new being is created.

An alive new being, which is our relationship.

As long as we nurture our relationship

as tenderly as if it is a newborn baby,

we remain in love.

We get stronger and happier

as we move closer and closer

to our fulfilment as human beings.

This is what love is.

This is what love is for.

Blessings,

Dr. Hall

Question:

Why do some people never give up on love, even after deep disappointments?