Love her to 70? And beyond?We are both 85. For three more weeks when I’ll be 86. And we live 1600 miles apart. And her memory’s fading. None of that matters. I love her.
Or, as Ringo's old band once put it - "will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64? If the answer is No, you might have some fun and excitement for a while, but you don't have a keeper.
Your words are beautiful and instructive Deborah. It would be awesome if, after a few hours of conversation, we could identify with surety the quality of the person we're talking with. In the interim, we can at least learn from our mistakes.
My Nancy and I have been together 54 years, married 52, two beautiful daughters, five grandsons, and one wonderful granddaughter.
What is important is to be life-affirming, self-affirming, self-growth from the woman and for her.
To a man that loves a woman, she is his very life and love.
A woman is beautiful in her age and is a full, intellectual, spiritual person in her age.
Like fine wine that ages well, women in my life have been beautiful in their 80s -- a dear aunt was not "beautiful for her age" but simply "Beautiful, Stunning" (in her 80s).
Self love Jim. When you love yourself you are a giver of love. Until that transition happens you’re a taker and that never ends well for either partner. Love yourself - it’s the key to the emotional jail so many live in.
Just meaningless words that many seem to believe have great meaning. With the ancient Greeks, they knew that Aphrodite and her sons Cupid and Eros caused nothing but problems for humans. We have made love this great wonderful thing.
Look around, we live in a country of MAGA hate. Yet these dipshits love Trump and each other.
I think you make a very important point that a lot of people don’t grasp. First learn to love yourself. Why?
Because loving others or another is about giving yourself to them, sharing yourself. So who would wish to give their friend or loved one a being with a slick, shiny outer skin but a core that is rotten, scheming, dishonest, selfish and deceitful? I think this relates to the ‘character’ that Dr. Hall writes about. Learning to love yourself has nothing to do with narcissism, which is all about self promotion when, in fact, you don’t really know yourself at all. Learning to love yourself requires effort, self-analysis, a willingness to recognise mistakes you’ve made, trying to repair the hurt and learn from those experiences.
But this should not just be aimed at men. Sure, a lot of relationships founder because of the male behaviours. As a species, we need to examine closely why this is, why so many men just want the sex but not the family responsibilities. Why so many men drink to excess, do drugs, gamble and seem unable to commit to a monogamous relationship. It seems likely that those people have not found satisfaction in the relationship. And that must affect both partners. It’s complicated!
I'll concede I'm occasionally something of a character but make no claim to being a man of anything more than mediocre character. Yet my wife, who's always treated me way better than I deserve, has kept her faith in me for nearly a quarter of a century now, even at times, looking back now, when I probably gave her reason not to.
Now that's something that takes *real* character. And I love her all the more for it.
Love her to 70? And beyond?We are both 85. For three more weeks when I’ll be 86. And we live 1600 miles apart. And her memory’s fading. None of that matters. I love her.
ELDERS IN LOVE
We are in love.
Not with the
passion of youth.
Neither with the
decrepitude of age.
A love that’s steady.
A love that will not die.
We share a hotel room,
But sleep in separate beds.
In the morning
and the evening
we lie next to
each other and hold
each other close.
In our ninth decade
we give each other comfort,
we give each other love,
we give each other —
LIFE!
You are blessed to have lived and loved well.
Thank you.
Inspiring, Deborah.
Be a person of value…🖖
There is a line in a song Willie Nelson sang "Your image of me is what I hope to be." I think about that a lot.
Character matters!
It’s difficult to put your finger on it. I’ll go with Diana Ross, singing: “You Can’t Hurry Love”
Or, as Ringo's old band once put it - "will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64? If the answer is No, you might have some fun and excitement for a while, but you don't have a keeper.
Your words are beautiful and instructive Deborah. It would be awesome if, after a few hours of conversation, we could identify with surety the quality of the person we're talking with. In the interim, we can at least learn from our mistakes.
Dr. Deborah Hall: Takes my breath away.
Well said!
Very well said.
My Nancy and I have been together 54 years, married 52, two beautiful daughters, five grandsons, and one wonderful granddaughter.
What is important is to be life-affirming, self-affirming, self-growth from the woman and for her.
To a man that loves a woman, she is his very life and love.
A woman is beautiful in her age and is a full, intellectual, spiritual person in her age.
Like fine wine that ages well, women in my life have been beautiful in their 80s -- a dear aunt was not "beautiful for her age" but simply "Beautiful, Stunning" (in her 80s).
Let’s say you find a keeper. What makes this man want to be kept?
Self love Jim. When you love yourself you are a giver of love. Until that transition happens you’re a taker and that never ends well for either partner. Love yourself - it’s the key to the emotional jail so many live in.
Just meaningless words that many seem to believe have great meaning. With the ancient Greeks, they knew that Aphrodite and her sons Cupid and Eros caused nothing but problems for humans. We have made love this great wonderful thing.
Look around, we live in a country of MAGA hate. Yet these dipshits love Trump and each other.
Don’t bother responding.
No need, you’ve said it all.
I think you make a very important point that a lot of people don’t grasp. First learn to love yourself. Why?
Because loving others or another is about giving yourself to them, sharing yourself. So who would wish to give their friend or loved one a being with a slick, shiny outer skin but a core that is rotten, scheming, dishonest, selfish and deceitful? I think this relates to the ‘character’ that Dr. Hall writes about. Learning to love yourself has nothing to do with narcissism, which is all about self promotion when, in fact, you don’t really know yourself at all. Learning to love yourself requires effort, self-analysis, a willingness to recognise mistakes you’ve made, trying to repair the hurt and learn from those experiences.
But this should not just be aimed at men. Sure, a lot of relationships founder because of the male behaviours. As a species, we need to examine closely why this is, why so many men just want the sex but not the family responsibilities. Why so many men drink to excess, do drugs, gamble and seem unable to commit to a monogamous relationship. It seems likely that those people have not found satisfaction in the relationship. And that must affect both partners. It’s complicated!
Very nice and even as a man say, all too true.
I'll concede I'm occasionally something of a character but make no claim to being a man of anything more than mediocre character. Yet my wife, who's always treated me way better than I deserve, has kept her faith in me for nearly a quarter of a century now, even at times, looking back now, when I probably gave her reason not to.
Now that's something that takes *real* character. And I love her all the more for it.
AT 76 we are married 53 years, I am still trying. I know I am not there yet, but I am still trying.
Well done, Dr. Hall. Thank you.
Great post! 😊