Dr Hall, this is terrific advice. What I take away here is regaining and retaining our personal power over our happiness and peace of mind.
The only person we can change is ourselves.
That being said, I don't think forgiveness is always required here. I have a handful of people that I have no intention of forgiving. But I don't dwell on them or allow resentment towards them to dominate by thoughts.
Food for thought. Very hard for some of us to do. I have struggled with turning loose of the anger caused by old wounds inflicted by casual cruelty. It is a work in progress even though the person is dead. There is a line in a song Willie Nelson did years ago; "I'll try to forgive, but I cannot forget." I'm still working on the forgive part. Forgiveness doesn't come easily.
I did many hours of reading on the subject of the spiritual act of forgiveness which has nothing to do with whether the person has an ounce of - or expresses contrition.
I say "spiritual" because it can literally require divine attributes for humans to get there.
I like to combine the wisdom of the serenity prayer with a little metaphysics thrown in for good measure. I remind myself that we know from Einstein that time is relative and that we are a part of our creator's equation. In other words, there is much more to life than meets the eye. Why can God forgive the sinner? God is outside and beyond the illusion we all time, and for all we know, She sees the past present and future – what we perceive as linear time all at once, meaning She sees the sinner's future redemption that we know nothing about.
Probably the origin of the phrase "vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Above our pay grade to pronounce judgments.
Besides, like I mentioned to Sam, if that asshole knew you were obsessing about him, he might just take some pleasure in that. Why give it to him?
Forgive is not to forget and your discussion of setting boundaries is apropos.
I think I'll look back and find some of those old poems I wrote when struggling with forgiveness and if I think they're any good, I'll post them as a series.
One thing that helps me to forgive is refusing to turn into the person that hurt me because I want to hurt them too, it is in my nature to love and forgive and I won't let someone's actions turn me into what I am not.
"Holding on to anger is like poisoning yourself and waiting for the other person to die."
Dr Hall, this is terrific advice. What I take away here is regaining and retaining our personal power over our happiness and peace of mind.
The only person we can change is ourselves.
That being said, I don't think forgiveness is always required here. I have a handful of people that I have no intention of forgiving. But I don't dwell on them or allow resentment towards them to dominate by thoughts.
It's about personal power over our own happiness.
It’s wasted energy to hold on to a pain.
Still, we often hold on to the familiar.
Food for thought. Very hard for some of us to do. I have struggled with turning loose of the anger caused by old wounds inflicted by casual cruelty. It is a work in progress even though the person is dead. There is a line in a song Willie Nelson did years ago; "I'll try to forgive, but I cannot forget." I'm still working on the forgive part. Forgiveness doesn't come easily.
It's the not forgetting that allows you to forgive.
Thanks for sharing that Dr. Hall! All true
Who hasn't struggled with this one?
I did many hours of reading on the subject of the spiritual act of forgiveness which has nothing to do with whether the person has an ounce of - or expresses contrition.
I say "spiritual" because it can literally require divine attributes for humans to get there.
I like to combine the wisdom of the serenity prayer with a little metaphysics thrown in for good measure. I remind myself that we know from Einstein that time is relative and that we are a part of our creator's equation. In other words, there is much more to life than meets the eye. Why can God forgive the sinner? God is outside and beyond the illusion we all time, and for all we know, She sees the past present and future – what we perceive as linear time all at once, meaning She sees the sinner's future redemption that we know nothing about.
Probably the origin of the phrase "vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Above our pay grade to pronounce judgments.
Besides, like I mentioned to Sam, if that asshole knew you were obsessing about him, he might just take some pleasure in that. Why give it to him?
Forgive is not to forget and your discussion of setting boundaries is apropos.
I think I'll look back and find some of those old poems I wrote when struggling with forgiveness and if I think they're any good, I'll post them as a series.
Forgiveness is powerful even if the other party hasn't asked for it. More often than not, forgiveness is meant to heal the heart that has been hurt.
One thing that helps me to forgive is refusing to turn into the person that hurt me because I want to hurt them too, it is in my nature to love and forgive and I won't let someone's actions turn me into what I am not.
Outstanding advice, and I'll attest from experience to the fact that it works.