This is fantastic, Deb! The curious thing I noticed is that the cruel voice in my mind sounds a lot like MAGA voices I get into tangles with online. Even worse was being attacked this week by leftist young people, when I tried to describe why women in the US find the word "cunt" objectionable, as opposed to Britain, where the word is used very casually. In my 60s now, I honestly feel the world has become so much crueler, maybe because most don't use their real names, even sometimes on Substack, where the leftie attack happened.
I've noticed that these encounters have made that voice in my head a lot louder, so while I was reading this, I was having trouble sorting out who the dictator voice was, as it was coming at me from all angles, if that makes sense.
Also, I love the layout of your words, as the eye simply glides across the thoughts. Very clever!
Anyhoo, I can't recall where we were talking last, but I know I said I'd send you my recent post, which is right up the alley of your own post this week, which I really enjoyed. Very helpful!
Outstanding piece today, Dr. Hall. You've hit on the essential difference between criticism and critique, one that is often lost in discussions of critical thinking. Criticism is usually pointless and based on inaccurate information or no information at all and is done with the intent to hurt. Critique, which is a growth and improvement tactic, is founded on facts and is engaged in for the purpose of changing an uncomfortable situation for the better. There is a substantial and critical difference between "you're bad", and "what happened is bad, what can we do to make sure it doesn't happen again" and if we forget or ignore that difference, we accrue all of the negative consequences you cite and, sometimes, come up with some new ones just to beat ourselves up with. Thanks for this and have a good weekend.
I'll be shoveling more snow and reminding myself that as the calendar has progressed, I'm not getting old, I'm gaining experience, and that experience has taught me to take breaks instead of clearing the whole driveway at once.
Thank you for posting this. My inner dictator has the voice of someone who is dead. I'm getting better at ignoring it, but it is a sneaky bustard and will slip in once in a while.
One of your best columns. Possibly, the best thing about growing old is that most if not all of that self-criticism disappears. The earlier we catch it the better off we'll be.
A lot of that thinking was imposed upon me from an early age, and it took until I was in my 30s to dump it. Once it was dealt with I felt like I could breathe freely and pursue my dreams. Sometimes that voice would sneak up on me and I'd have to banish back to the pit it came from.
Being successful at what I did helped free me from self-criticism.
I’ve thought that as well that self-knowledge is one of the benefits of aging. I’ve found that self-criticism, for me anyway, comes in the form of deprecating humor. Since it’s usually repetitive that makes it easier to recognize and avoid.
Deborah, excellent postings and, not incidentally, heart-stopping beautiful photos.
This is fantastic, Deb! The curious thing I noticed is that the cruel voice in my mind sounds a lot like MAGA voices I get into tangles with online. Even worse was being attacked this week by leftist young people, when I tried to describe why women in the US find the word "cunt" objectionable, as opposed to Britain, where the word is used very casually. In my 60s now, I honestly feel the world has become so much crueler, maybe because most don't use their real names, even sometimes on Substack, where the leftie attack happened.
I've noticed that these encounters have made that voice in my head a lot louder, so while I was reading this, I was having trouble sorting out who the dictator voice was, as it was coming at me from all angles, if that makes sense.
Also, I love the layout of your words, as the eye simply glides across the thoughts. Very clever!
Anyhoo, I can't recall where we were talking last, but I know I said I'd send you my recent post, which is right up the alley of your own post this week, which I really enjoyed. Very helpful!
https://open.substack.com/pub/maryannfarley/p/whats-harder-cancer-or-just-being?r=cr6t&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Outstanding piece today, Dr. Hall. You've hit on the essential difference between criticism and critique, one that is often lost in discussions of critical thinking. Criticism is usually pointless and based on inaccurate information or no information at all and is done with the intent to hurt. Critique, which is a growth and improvement tactic, is founded on facts and is engaged in for the purpose of changing an uncomfortable situation for the better. There is a substantial and critical difference between "you're bad", and "what happened is bad, what can we do to make sure it doesn't happen again" and if we forget or ignore that difference, we accrue all of the negative consequences you cite and, sometimes, come up with some new ones just to beat ourselves up with. Thanks for this and have a good weekend.
I'll be shoveling more snow and reminding myself that as the calendar has progressed, I'm not getting old, I'm gaining experience, and that experience has taught me to take breaks instead of clearing the whole driveway at once.
Sorry, cat jump caused incomplete post 😂. Continued…
Is not the voice from the grave and more difficult to block out. Thanks for an inspiring column. 😊
For some reason, I felt it easier to deal with that critic face to face, than now, when that critic is
Thank you for posting this. My inner dictator has the voice of someone who is dead. I'm getting better at ignoring it, but it is a sneaky bustard and will slip in once in a while.
Well said. Thank you for sharing that.
One of your best columns. Possibly, the best thing about growing old is that most if not all of that self-criticism disappears. The earlier we catch it the better off we'll be.
A lot of that thinking was imposed upon me from an early age, and it took until I was in my 30s to dump it. Once it was dealt with I felt like I could breathe freely and pursue my dreams. Sometimes that voice would sneak up on me and I'd have to banish back to the pit it came from.
Being successful at what I did helped free me from self-criticism.
I’ve thought that as well that self-knowledge is one of the benefits of aging. I’ve found that self-criticism, for me anyway, comes in the form of deprecating humor. Since it’s usually repetitive that makes it easier to recognize and avoid.