14 Comments

" I pray we in America will not let them down." I fear that we already have, although we still have time to change that if we show our political "leaders" that we have the will and if we provide the courage that too many of them lack. The ones who choose to swim against the current and stand up for this country's moral and ethical principles will be the admirable politicians of our time as were George Washington, Abe Lincoln, FDR, and, although they fell short elsewhere, Barry Goldwater, Hugh Scott, and John Rhodes when they told Nixon it was time to go. People of that stature don't, at least right now, seem to abide in the halls of Congress.

In the real world, it's refreshing to read an essay like yours today, when men are often belittled and demeaned by simple virtue of the biology they were born with. I've had the privilege of working with men and women of all orientations and backgrounds who were admirable by virtue of their self-acceptance and self-respect, the qualities that are essential if one is to accept and respect anyone else. Self-esteem follows from those, rather than generating them and, as you note, is meaningless by itself. To the extent that pop culture reflects the reality of life, there are far more songs written about the importance and value of respect than there are about self-esteem. It is never proper or justifiable to put someone else down, but there is much more to a positive self-image than simply liking oneself. The people I've known who I still admire and respect are those who had the confidence to correct me when I was wrong (often) and the experience and wisdom to redirect my energy in a positive way.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Dave for taking the time to share your valuable insights with us.

I am so glad you were moved to write.

We are blessed to have forthright people

around us who keep us growing.

That is the caliber of community

we are building here.

We will learn from each other and face the challenges of 2024 together.

I think often of admirable leaders you named -- Lincoln, our Founding Fathers.

May we honor them in our actions

and become stronger and more worthy

of the great legacy we received

from their devotion to freedom.

Expand full comment

Our hope for the future is precisely in building communities of the caliber you describe. If we stop learning from each other, we'll shortly stop attempting even the abbreviated communications we have.

Expand full comment
Jan 12Liked by Dr. Deborah Hall

As you know, Dr. Hall, this is a topic near and dear to me. Personally, I draw a rough a parallel to Chivalric values and honor code. Dust it off and see ... I still think it is morally relevant these 500 years later.

Expand full comment
author

Jim,

Yes, I thought of you as I sent this out!

I did not know about the chivalric values and honor code in medieval times.

Thank you for suggesting I dust them off.

I did and wow

they surely still ARE morally relevant.

Honor, respect, valor.

The courageous knight in shining armor

protecting his true love.

I believe a man wants to be a quiet hero

at least in the eyes of his lady love.

And--if he can--by having

a lasting positive impact on the world.

Expand full comment
Jan 13Liked by Dr. Deborah Hall

Hi Deborah. The meaning of Chivalry has been refined today to emphasize ideals such as knightly virtues, honor, love, and respect towards women.

But it extends beyond that. In the Middle Ages it was a moral system that stated all knights should protect others who cannot protect themselves ... in other words, all "innocents," such as the poor, the afflicted, children, and the elderly.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, and a tad idealistic, but I think that is what we're built to do.

Expand full comment
author

I'm with you.

I believe it.

Hearing the call to do this

is galvanizing to mind, body and spirit.

I believe America will have

a new birth of freedom

when a leader sounds this call.

Expand full comment

Dr. H,

When I picture an admirable man, I see my former boss. He was hardworking, faithful and optimistic. He was a thoughtful and loving father. He had a serious health scare recently, and I believe his innate goodness helped him survive. Thanks for this post today! I needed to hear it.

Expand full comment
author

Will,

What a joy to work with such

an admirable man!

I am sure you emulated

many of his qualities

and honored him in your actions.

The wonderful stories you tell

in your substack Good Government Files illustrate the vital importance

of young men having admirable men

in their lives that they look up to.

Expand full comment
Jan 12Liked by Dr. Deborah Hall

You have perfectly described my beloved husband of 60 years who recently passed away. He was a brilliant professor much beloved by his students. His love for me was unwavering, as well as his willingness to help anyone in need. He was highly talented and blessed with a beautiful voice. In retirement he painted, sculptured in wood, made unique bird houses from scraps he found in the garage. He also gave a talk at a philosophy club once a month that always left me in tears of admiration. I felt so privileged and blessed that he chose me to share his wonderful life.

Expand full comment
author

Joanne,

Yes, there is nothing like the honor

of being chosen by your hero

to be his lifelong lady love.

His blessings continue to shower you

as his immortal gift of thanks to you

for choosing him.

I picture you watching

those dear colorful birdies he loved

flying into one of the bird houses

he built with his wood-sculpting hands.

He would want you to be happy

in the tender afterglow of his presence.

Expand full comment
Jan 13Liked by Dr. Deborah Hall

You are so lovely. Thank you for brightening my day.

Expand full comment

I have female friends who were part of the women's movement in the 70s and forward. They wanted to change things that needed changing. Equal pay, maternity leave, and confronting discrimination. They tell me that somewhere along the way the movement shifted to being anti-man. My friends like men and did not like the new direction. Now we are trying to figure out what society wants us to be. It is puzzling to be glared at or dressed down for holding the door for a woman.

Being a man involves putting the needs of others above your own, conducting yourself honorably, and dealing fairly with others. A man can be 6'4 and ripped driving a Ram 1500 or he can be 5'4 driving a Prius. What makes a man is how he conducts himself and treats others.

Expand full comment
author

Fred,

Thank you for your insightful thoughts.

I am glad the anti-man contingent

hasn't gotten anywhere with your friends.

Women who are strong and free

don't go around disparaging the male sex.

Yes it is puzzling and sad for a good man

to have his gestures of respect

misconstrued as demeaning.

But ultimately he defines honor himself,

in terms that inspire him,

and earns the respect of those

capable of seeing his value.

Expand full comment