Mr. Postman look and see — is there a letter in your bag for me?

Dear friend,
Has anyone written you a letter lately?

No, not one of those blunt little emails/texts/WhatsApps
that doesn’t even bother to greet you by name.

A REAL letter.

The kind we write when we actually take the time to communicate.

When we take the time to think about the receiver
and to feel how they will feel to read our words.

When we choose each word with loving care.

If we have ever received such a letter
we know its emotional power.

We know its value.

Finding such a treasure in our mailbox
is one of the joys of life.

To receive a real letter

How can we give ourselves the possibility
of finding such a letter in our mailbox?

Let me offer you a few ideas:

—-We can write a real letter to an older person we respect,
telling them something we admire about them.
They will be deeply touched.

—-If our Mom and Dad are still living,
we can write them a real letter thanking them
for a way they strengthened us.
They will feel honored and appreciated.

If they are not still living,
we can still write the letter
and imagine how they would feel.

—We can write a real letter to our brother or sister,
apologizing for a way we hurt or neglected them.
They will pass out from shock.

—We can write a real letter instead of an email
to a friend/partner/family member.
They will be surprised and delighted.

So, shall we type our letter or write it by hand?

If you immediately holler:
“I can’t write it by hand! My handwriting is terrible!”
that is a bogus excuse.

All that matters is that it’s readable.
Handprint it if you need to.
It’s about your humanity, not your self regard.

There are some things that a typed letter simply cannot do.

When we want to create a deep emotional connection
with a person we care about,
there is no written form on earth
that has the power of a handwritten letter.

There are times in life when nothing less will do.

Those times include:

Someone we care about needs comfort.
They are grieving, ill, defeated or afraid
and we want to express our compassion for them in their suffering.

Someone we have met has us thinking of romance.
We want to gently express to them
our feelings of tender interest, attraction and admiration.

Someone we have hurt, offended or grievously wronged
needs to hear us make a full, sincere and unequivocal apology.
We want to tell them we are truly sorry and ask for their forgiveness.

Someone has given us a very special time, their loving care,
or an exceptionally thoughtful gift that deeply touched us.
We want to express to them our heart felt gratitude.

Time to toss the crutch

The time has come for us to get real
and stop using other people’s words
to stand in for us!

It’s time to stop sending mass produced cards
we sign in two seconds and send as if we DID something.

Time to stop sending mass produced cards
our partner chooses for us and even signs for us…
as if either of us DID something.

Let’s toss the crutch, my friend,
and pick up our pen.

A letter is a generous gift

If we have ever received a letter
at a time we needed it
we know its emotional impact.

We probably wept when we received it
and have likely kept it as a treasured gift.

I have a suitcase full of letters from my mother
that she wrote to me in her last years.

She was on heavy doses of Haldol for paranoid schizophrenia,
yet her “chicken scratching” (as she called it)
poignantly conveyed to me her deep love and encouragement
as I raised my two small children while working toward my doctorate.

She gave me her heart and soul in her words.
I get to keep them forever.

It’s our turn now

Now, when the time comes
that we feel moved to write someone a real letter,
we will be the one carrying out this generous act.

Writing a real letter requires emotional courage.

It calls us to share our soul with another person.

The person who receives our letter
will feel our love in our words.

This person will know we are right there in our letter.

And when they write back to us
we will feel their love in their words…

and we will know they are right there in their letter.

Right there in our mailbox!

Blessings,

Dr. Hall

Question:

Who do you think would be the most happy to receive a letter from you?