We generally think of a dreamer as an unrealistic person. You know: not practical. He (or she) is just a dreamer, people say of someone, implying that they will amount to nothing. I have always been a dreamer. Some have wondered if my dreams would ever “amount to” anything.
Thank you Deborah for this. I read it over and over again, each time slower than the previous. Your personal words to me are deep and encouraging. I'm moved not just by how you've read my words but how you've read me as a person.
I love this topic! I consider myself a dreamer, and there are days I long for more time in my schedule to just spend day dreaming. Many of my Beloved and my life objectives have been realized by each of us imagining our next path forward as a blank canvas, and how do we wish to color or fill that canvas for our future together. It helps us to prioritize our current values and the path forward together. What steps we need to take to complete that picture.
So delighted to hear that you are blessed with a wonderful beloved as well Dr. Deborah! Life is so much more fulfilling with a true “partner”! It only took me 38 years to meet him. It’s been a most excellent adventure!
Some people use the word dream instead of aspiration. To me, a dream is very similar to imagination... closer to art.
An aspiration is what one desires to do or become... Which can be different from a dream. When I hear people say you can be anything you can dream, I flinch. One cannot be the fastest runner in the world unless one has unusual physical aptitude. That type of dreaming can be detrimental because one can have a dream squashed if one doesn't have the necessary genetic prerequisites. A person who cannot carry a tune will never sing like Whitney Houston. If one has these kinds of dreams one will forever be disappointed.
But dreaming can be its own reward. One can dream of beautiful things when things aren't beautiful. One can dream along with a beautiful tune in one's head.
Have any of you ever been perplexed and confounded about something for many days or weeks or months? Then one morning you wake up and the answer is obvious. Maybe you dreamed the answer. If you play music or if you write music you can dream and create new songs.
I think artistic expression and dreams are more closely aligned than dreams and purposeful aspirations.
Your complements are continuing to get more flattering. I credit both my education and life experiences for my insights. I was on the premed track in college with a focus in chemistry. About a fourth of the way through my sophomore year I had an automobile accident resulting in an eleven day coma.
I did go back to college within a year full-time. In leau of the lab parts of my chemistry classes I started taking psychology classes . I ended up majoring in
Psychology with a minor in chemistry. Also I ended up being one class short of another minor in philosophy . I have had quite an eventful life, lol.
Dreams can be what shore us up in hard times. Something to focus on and work for. I think there has to be a certain amount of reality tempering dreams. If I am 5' 4" tall and weigh 250 pounds, a dream of being an NBA center is probably not going to happen for me. Reality is a cruel bitch at times. Someone once said "life is the process of finding what you don't suck at". For many years I kept a copy of "If" by Rudyard Kipling framed on my wall. Part of that poem reads "If you can dream and not make dreams your master; if you can think but not make thoughts your aim. If you can meet with triumph and disaster; and treat those two imposters just the same." That poem helped me through some rough patches. We need dreamers, but dreams must reach an accommodation with reality sometimes.
Holding on too tightly to a dream, achievable or not, can blind one to the good things around them. Charging forward after a dream, with blinders on, can lead to a cold and empty reality. Appreciating what is around you enriches your existence whether you again your dream or not.
There's probably a thousand songs with "dreaming" as the theme ... and a thousand more commencement speeches about "living your dream" to inspire young graduates.
And how many millions of parents encourage their children with this very special word?
I never thought that what I wanted to do was dreaming. I just did what I wanted to do. Nothing seemed inpracticle, I never questioned what I wanted. Maybe, if I had questioned it, my life would have been different. Who knows. There was only one person who told me that I couldn't do what I wanted to do and I ignored him. I suspect that there may be more pressure on women, especially by men, many of whom have an idea fixe about who women are and what they "should" be doing. "Should," now there's a word that needs to be dropped from our vocabulary, but that's a different subject for a different time.
Deborah,
This is a beautiful piece.
Are we Limited by the extent of our dreams or are they stepping stones to something much nicer, much greater or much more purposeful?
Olusegun,
Thank you so much for telling me
that you found my letter to be a beautiful piece.
I would have gotten back to you sooner
but I was writing my next letter :)
Such is the life of writers like us!
But here I am, and I welcome your profound question:
Are we limited by the extent of our dreams?
Never!
Some of us, from the git go, dream dreams so profound
that we spend our whole lives reaching toward their heights.
Others of us begin with a more modest vision
but as we grow so does our dream!!!!
The early ones indeed become "stepping stones to something much nicer,
much greater or much more purposeful."
The growth of our life dream becomes
a process of DISCOVERY of our true and highest potential.
I am a person in the first category:
out to save the world from the time I could talk :)
My guess from reading your profile
is you are in the second category:
now launching yourself into a stage of exciting discovery
of a greater and more purposeful dream.
I bet your love of travel relates to a core desire
to explore new territory not only in the world but in yourself.
The beauty of starting your substack
is it will take you where you want to go,
even though you don't yet know where that is :)
I hope you will find that my letters provide insights
that will open many doors for your future path!
Thank you Deborah for this. I read it over and over again, each time slower than the previous. Your personal words to me are deep and encouraging. I'm moved not just by how you've read my words but how you've read me as a person.
I love this topic! I consider myself a dreamer, and there are days I long for more time in my schedule to just spend day dreaming. Many of my Beloved and my life objectives have been realized by each of us imagining our next path forward as a blank canvas, and how do we wish to color or fill that canvas for our future together. It helps us to prioritize our current values and the path forward together. What steps we need to take to complete that picture.
Thank you, Geri, for being a dreamer!
I love your metaphor of the blank canvas
where you paint with color
as you visualize and make real
your dreams for the future.
I, too, find this so valuable to do
because of how you are then able
as you say
to prioritize your current values
and plan your steps to fulfilment.
How blessed you are to have your Beloved
to create your joyful life with!
So delighted to hear that you are blessed with a wonderful beloved as well Dr. Deborah! Life is so much more fulfilling with a true “partner”! It only took me 38 years to meet him. It’s been a most excellent adventure!
Some people use the word dream instead of aspiration. To me, a dream is very similar to imagination... closer to art.
An aspiration is what one desires to do or become... Which can be different from a dream. When I hear people say you can be anything you can dream, I flinch. One cannot be the fastest runner in the world unless one has unusual physical aptitude. That type of dreaming can be detrimental because one can have a dream squashed if one doesn't have the necessary genetic prerequisites. A person who cannot carry a tune will never sing like Whitney Houston. If one has these kinds of dreams one will forever be disappointed.
But dreaming can be its own reward. One can dream of beautiful things when things aren't beautiful. One can dream along with a beautiful tune in one's head.
Have any of you ever been perplexed and confounded about something for many days or weeks or months? Then one morning you wake up and the answer is obvious. Maybe you dreamed the answer. If you play music or if you write music you can dream and create new songs.
I think artistic expression and dreams are more closely aligned than dreams and purposeful aspirations.
What beautiful thoughts you share here, B. Thank you.
Dream has so many layers of meaning.
I agree with you that "artistic expression and dreams
are more closely aligned than dreams and purposeful aspirations."
To me, our life dream is our unconscious imagination
of who we are in our ideal vision of ourselves.
Our life dream is like a poem
that has been conceived at an early age
(maybe in our sleep :)
but is being written as we live it.
We gradually accommodate with reality
as we bring the essence of our poem
--the core of our ideal self--into being.
We are unlikely to be a Shakespearian sonnet
but we are nonetheless beautiful and original.
Yes, I have many times had the experience you describe
where my unconscious mind--in my dreams--
solved a perplexing and confounding problem for me.
I woke up knowing exactly what to do, say, or write,
or already having the lyrics for a new song.
This is our healthy unconscious ego at work
building our freedom and happiness.
A dream is reality’s precursor.
Wow Stanley,
This is why you are a poet.
You say it all in five words.
Thanks for saying that!
I believe there are psychological reasons
for the profound truth you have stated.
What you say holds true, both literally and metaphorically,
in the psychological, spiritual, political and physical realms.
Your complements are continuing to get more flattering. I credit both my education and life experiences for my insights. I was on the premed track in college with a focus in chemistry. About a fourth of the way through my sophomore year I had an automobile accident resulting in an eleven day coma.
I did go back to college within a year full-time. In leau of the lab parts of my chemistry classes I started taking psychology classes . I ended up majoring in
Psychology with a minor in chemistry. Also I ended up being one class short of another minor in philosophy . I have had quite an eventful life, lol.
How fascinating, Stanley!
Thank you for sharing your life story.
You were headed for being a doctor
when life knocked you to the mat.
You got up. Lord, what courage that took.
And then you went deeper.
Down into psychology,
and you ended up a poet.
If you have not yet read it
please read Emerson's great essay: The Poet.
He is speaking to you.
Dreams can be what shore us up in hard times. Something to focus on and work for. I think there has to be a certain amount of reality tempering dreams. If I am 5' 4" tall and weigh 250 pounds, a dream of being an NBA center is probably not going to happen for me. Reality is a cruel bitch at times. Someone once said "life is the process of finding what you don't suck at". For many years I kept a copy of "If" by Rudyard Kipling framed on my wall. Part of that poem reads "If you can dream and not make dreams your master; if you can think but not make thoughts your aim. If you can meet with triumph and disaster; and treat those two imposters just the same." That poem helped me through some rough patches. We need dreamers, but dreams must reach an accommodation with reality sometimes.
Fred,
Yes, a dream can be somethin' to cling to
somethin' warm to come to
when nights are cold and lonely--
to paraphrase Tammy Wynette in Stand By Your Man.
The ideal vision we have of ourselves
is always beyond our reach.
We go for the "impossible" to get the possible,
and thus we make our vision real.
It is always possible to have the sweet essence of our dream.
We don't have to become an NBA center
to live the beauty of basketball.
We don't have to win an Oscar to live the beauty of acting.
All we have to do is, as you say, accommodate with reality!
OK, so what if I can't have ALL of my huge grandiose dream!!!
I am giving myself permission
to still have--and savor!-- the sweet core of it.
That is how we have victory over the naysayer within us all
--the sadistic judge in our own mind
that declares: " Your dreams are impossible."
Appreciation can be as important as dreams.
O do tell me more, Fred
Please tell me what you mean
Holding on too tightly to a dream, achievable or not, can blind one to the good things around them. Charging forward after a dream, with blinders on, can lead to a cold and empty reality. Appreciating what is around you enriches your existence whether you again your dream or not.
I see what you are saying, Fred
That is a profound insight
Thank you
There's probably a thousand songs with "dreaming" as the theme ... and a thousand more commencement speeches about "living your dream" to inspire young graduates.
And how many millions of parents encourage their children with this very special word?
Just "Imagine."
Yes, dreaming has so many layers of meaning--
all of them highly creative and transformative!
I rejoice that music and parents and leaders
and artists and speakers and poets
encourage us all to dream.
As a therapist I join the chorus -- singing loudly!!!
I believe the capacity to dream,
and to dream anew if a dream is lost,
is a fundamental component
of psychological, spiritual and political freedom.
Utterly essential to our wellbeing and survival.
Dream on, dear world, dream on!
I never thought that what I wanted to do was dreaming. I just did what I wanted to do. Nothing seemed inpracticle, I never questioned what I wanted. Maybe, if I had questioned it, my life would have been different. Who knows. There was only one person who told me that I couldn't do what I wanted to do and I ignored him. I suspect that there may be more pressure on women, especially by men, many of whom have an idea fixe about who women are and what they "should" be doing. "Should," now there's a word that needs to be dropped from our vocabulary, but that's a different subject for a different time.
Herr, You are rare in being so forthright in doing what you wanted to do!
Haha I love your solution for dealing with that person
who told you you couldn't do what you wanted to do:
You simply ignored him.
And yes, I too can't stand the word "should."
If you ever catch me using it, holler foul!