Dear friend, Chances are that at some point in your life you will face a health scare. It may turn out that you don’t have a serious health problem. But the scare itself is seriously painful. Maybe you have already been through this. Maybe you already know what keeps you strong.
I have incurable metastatic cancer and was told by my Oncologist four years ago that I had only a few months to live. But here I am today, still alive and quite well.
What I think has especially kept me alive is Hope. And for me it is especially music that gives me hope. Especially the Beatles’ “Morning has Come”.
Lyrics begin and end with “Morning has come, come, come, I say. Oh little darling, don’t worry … “
I just wish that everyone has their own special music to give them hope.
Deborah, please don’t ever weep for me, because I am a very happy woman with a wonderful husband and family.
But you constantly show that you are an exceptionally kind and sweet as well as insightful person, for which I and I’m sure also your other readers are very grateful.
He was an amazing human. He never talked about what he had done to most people. He showed me some pictures and some scars. I kept those things to myself. He reminded me of a line from an Emmylou Harris song called "Spanish Johnny " "For the hands so gentle to a child had killed so many men". I never heard him raise his voice or show anger. He had inner strength and class to the end.
Great choice of songs, although I like Rod Stewart's version better. I've had a couple of health scares, one of them stupidly self-generated but, importantly, not an attempt at suicide. The perspective generated by those events helped me accept the fact that, some day, I will die and my faith that this won't be anything other than a step into a new aspect of life has helped me through not only health issues, but most of the otherwise scary events that we face in life.
Thank you so much for sharing your own scare. Many years ago I did have a life and death scare. It started with a cough at every breath taken. An x-ray revealed a tumor and an operation was scheduled for some time in January. Our holidays were totally ruined worrying about the upcoming operation. I also belonged to a ladies club that was going to have a Valentine Ball. I had also been chosen to represent the chapter as their Princess. The doctor told me that recovery would be long and I wouldn’t be able to attend the event. Well, the tumor turned out to be benign, and I hung my beautiful special gown on the door of my bedroom, so that I could see it every morning, instilling the idea that I would wear it and go to the Ball! Not only did I go, but I was randomly chosen to be the Queen of the Ball!! Lessons learned: Don’t let worrying about the unknown future spoil the present. The other lesson learned was that the doctors don’t know everything, and that the mind is a powerful force!
You are by far the kindest, most caring person I have had the good fortune of crossing paths with! You make it so easy to share our feelings and experiences, which will hopefully help others. Thank you for sharing of yourself. By the way, I still have my tiara!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure this will encourage many who have been in a similar place in their lives.
Fortunately, I have never been in a health scare situation before. However, as I was reading, I kept pondering on what I'd do or how I'd advise anyone going through this. My faith was the only anchor I could think of leaning on to. So I smiled, when I got to the point where you listed faith.
I am who I am today because of God's love in my life. I believe His words and will always ensure I guard my mind. The devil continues to sow seeds of fear and doubt in our hearts and if left unchecked may steal the victory that we already have in Jesus.
This is my personal belief.
Thank you once again for such an emotional and powerful piece. I enjoyed it!
Having gone through, around and beyond several health scares of the last 83 years, several strengths have shown themselves as if they were waiting in a back room for the signal to activate. An early adopter of being a witness observer and believing what I see hear and feel, I only discovered this by having to summon this strength by need and by moment. This strength in a way twinned with another later as calling upon my curiosity and sense of adventure as I went along creating, living, my story. There are many ways I have trained myself and looked for training that incorporate the previous strengths. It's no accident I'm a lover of tools :-) A very basic grasp of some sciences helps me to understand the physical world; the social sciences form ways of understanding social and other behaviors which is essential for making connection with people even within a family. This particular strength is serving very usefully these days...And not at all to forget that the humanities, arts in all their marvelous glory are showing the absolute necessity for strengthening our challenged democracy through ways to express that do connect us.
Great advice. It is a simple and clear. I like by the old adage, “Don’t borrow trouble!”. No use worrying about things before it happens. Because if you do you have twice the problem , once in the anticipation leading up to the problem and the actual problem.
Many years ago I worked with a man who was a special forces combat veteran. He experienced pain in his stomach. He went to the VA and was diagnosed with cancer. It was in his organs. He spent his last months driving, while he could, around saying goodbye to people he cared about without actually saying goodbye. His co-workers had a cookout for him. Essentially he got to attend his own wake. People shook his hand and wished him well. He sat and watched people interact, children play, and people being people. His skin was yellow as his liver was falling. He held onto his dignity and stayed at home until the last couple of weeks when he went to hospice. His funeral was huge. He showed hundreds of people how to live with class and die with dignity and courage. At the end of the day all we can hope for is to do the same.
In 2014 I was told that I had, at most, 5 yrs. to live. I'm now almost 5 yrs. past my experiation date. Drs. are just guessing and trying to keep you as a permanent patient. I never went back that dr. At first I thought; is there anything that I haven't done that I want to do before I die? There wasn't. I made out my will and figured they'd be nothing much left to leave. I didn't tell anyone except my wife about the prognoses and went about living the rest of my life. I've lived long enough and did everything I wanted to do and at 85 whenever the end comes will be ok. If the diagnoses would have come at say, age 50, I may have had a different response. I don't know.
I choose to feel good and the body follows ❤️
Hello, Paolo.
Thank you for sharing
your strong way of living.
I am happy for you
both in your choice
and in your outcome.
A receptive mind and soul
creates a receptive body.
A mind and soul receptive to the good
creates a body receptive to the good.
What a lovely and powerful name
for your substack.
Make Pure Thy Heart indeed!
Deborah, thank you for your helpful advice,
I have incurable metastatic cancer and was told by my Oncologist four years ago that I had only a few months to live. But here I am today, still alive and quite well.
What I think has especially kept me alive is Hope. And for me it is especially music that gives me hope. Especially the Beatles’ “Morning has Come”.
Lyrics begin and end with “Morning has come, come, come, I say. Oh little darling, don’t worry … “
I just wish that everyone has their own special music to give them hope.
Patricia,
What a beautiful and generous wish
you make here
for us
and for all people everywhere!
That "everyone has their own special music
to give them hope."
I am so glad and thankful that you do.
You have your Morning song
keeping you alive.
O Patricia,
how I wish
this disease had never happened to you.
I wept to hear.
But you have repelled it
all these long four years.
And here you are today
"still alive and quite well."
A heart, mind and soul
full of hope
is a force to be reckoned with.
You and your hope
are a blessing to me
and to all your fellow readers here.
We are with you
as you shine.
Deborah, please don’t ever weep for me, because I am a very happy woman with a wonderful husband and family.
But you constantly show that you are an exceptionally kind and sweet as well as insightful person, for which I and I’m sure also your other readers are very grateful.
Thank you so much, Patricia.
Crying now because I am moved
by your generous words.
I hear you
and I rejoice for you
that you are a very happy woman
with a wonderful husband
and family.
May all the Spring flowers
dance their dances for you
And may all the Spring flowers dance for you too. 🥰
He was an amazing human. He never talked about what he had done to most people. He showed me some pictures and some scars. I kept those things to myself. He reminded me of a line from an Emmylou Harris song called "Spanish Johnny " "For the hands so gentle to a child had killed so many men". I never heard him raise his voice or show anger. He had inner strength and class to the end.
He trusted you.
He was able to share his soul with you
because he knew you would keep the sacred trust.
His gentle hands never wanted to kill.
They only did so to protect the child.
Honor to him, always.
Great choice of songs, although I like Rod Stewart's version better. I've had a couple of health scares, one of them stupidly self-generated but, importantly, not an attempt at suicide. The perspective generated by those events helped me accept the fact that, some day, I will die and my faith that this won't be anything other than a step into a new aspect of life has helped me through not only health issues, but most of the otherwise scary events that we face in life.
Dave,
I am so glad you are at peace
with your humanity and your mortality.
You have achieved a rare and hard won serenity.
I do believe your serenity fosters your productivity.
You are less susceptible to being sidelined
by matters that would throw others off the track.
Many people don't realize
how much time we actually gain
by putting in the work of self development!
But you do.
Some of it we do deliberately
and some comes as an opportunity
to learn from our painful experiences.
You clearly are a learner in both ways.
It is a joy to write for you.
It is an equal joy to read your writings and learn from them, thanks Deborah.
Thank you so much for sharing your own scare. Many years ago I did have a life and death scare. It started with a cough at every breath taken. An x-ray revealed a tumor and an operation was scheduled for some time in January. Our holidays were totally ruined worrying about the upcoming operation. I also belonged to a ladies club that was going to have a Valentine Ball. I had also been chosen to represent the chapter as their Princess. The doctor told me that recovery would be long and I wouldn’t be able to attend the event. Well, the tumor turned out to be benign, and I hung my beautiful special gown on the door of my bedroom, so that I could see it every morning, instilling the idea that I would wear it and go to the Ball! Not only did I go, but I was randomly chosen to be the Queen of the Ball!! Lessons learned: Don’t let worrying about the unknown future spoil the present. The other lesson learned was that the doctors don’t know everything, and that the mind is a powerful force!
Dear Princess & Queen Joanne,
I can just see you lying there in bed
staring up at your beautiful special gown
hanging on the door of your bedroom.
Yes indeed, Joanne, the mind is a powerful force.
It can take you where you are determined to go!
Every morning, there you were, seeing yourself
as the girl who would WEAR that gown
and GO to the Ball!
That you also won the draw to be Queen
is downright poetic.
I am soooo glad, Joanne,
that the tumor turned out to be benign
and that your belief in yourself was so strong.
Now you are just entering the newest stage
of your going to The Ball which is Life!
Time to choose your pretty dresses!
You are by far the kindest, most caring person I have had the good fortune of crossing paths with! You make it so easy to share our feelings and experiences, which will hopefully help others. Thank you for sharing of yourself. By the way, I still have my tiara!
Dear Joanne,
You are a joy to me!
Thank you for your words of encouragement
of me and my writing.
That you still have your treasured tiara
is such a sublime victory.
The best part is
you are still the lovely girl
who wore it.
You are full of spiritual beauty.
Long may you shine
Deborah,
This was very emotional to read.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure this will encourage many who have been in a similar place in their lives.
Fortunately, I have never been in a health scare situation before. However, as I was reading, I kept pondering on what I'd do or how I'd advise anyone going through this. My faith was the only anchor I could think of leaning on to. So I smiled, when I got to the point where you listed faith.
I am who I am today because of God's love in my life. I believe His words and will always ensure I guard my mind. The devil continues to sow seeds of fear and doubt in our hearts and if left unchecked may steal the victory that we already have in Jesus.
This is my personal belief.
Thank you once again for such an emotional and powerful piece. I enjoyed it!
Olusegun,
Your kind and caring nature shines through your words.
Yes, I know where it comes from.
The same place any kind and caring words from me come from.
We are both seeking to live the words of Jesus.
Like you, I am who I am today because of God's love in my life.
Because I abide in Him every hour of every day,
He abides in me,
and therefore I shall bear much fruit.
That is His promise, and I believe Him.
I am so glad my writing reaches you.
That is my hope, that my writing
will reach and strengthen
each person who reads me.
Having gone through, around and beyond several health scares of the last 83 years, several strengths have shown themselves as if they were waiting in a back room for the signal to activate. An early adopter of being a witness observer and believing what I see hear and feel, I only discovered this by having to summon this strength by need and by moment. This strength in a way twinned with another later as calling upon my curiosity and sense of adventure as I went along creating, living, my story. There are many ways I have trained myself and looked for training that incorporate the previous strengths. It's no accident I'm a lover of tools :-) A very basic grasp of some sciences helps me to understand the physical world; the social sciences form ways of understanding social and other behaviors which is essential for making connection with people even within a family. This particular strength is serving very usefully these days...And not at all to forget that the humanities, arts in all their marvelous glory are showing the absolute necessity for strengthening our challenged democracy through ways to express that do connect us.
Robin,
What a rich response!
You offer us profound and original thoughts here,
on how we can be strong when facing a health scare.
It is fascinating how you have perceived/discovered
your own strengths
that "were waiting in a back room
for the signal to activate"
and then proceeded to build upon them
with both the physical and social sciences.
I love how you pay tribute to "the humanities,
arts in all their marvelous glory."
Yes, they indeed are showing us ways to express ourselves
that connect us with each other and with our families
and thus help us to meet our greatest challenge:
to strengthen and protect our beloved democracy.
I can see that it has been your inner strengths --
deliberately built, trained and cultivated --
that have seen you through, around, and beyond
the several health scares you have experienced.
Great advice. It is a simple and clear. I like by the old adage, “Don’t borrow trouble!”. No use worrying about things before it happens. Because if you do you have twice the problem , once in the anticipation leading up to the problem and the actual problem.
Stanley,
Thank you for your insight.
Yes, I hear you:
"Don't borrow trouble!"
Sufficient unto the day
is the evil thereof, right?
Why should we pre-emptively suffer
continuously in anticipation
of what will only possibly occur
but once?
Many years ago I worked with a man who was a special forces combat veteran. He experienced pain in his stomach. He went to the VA and was diagnosed with cancer. It was in his organs. He spent his last months driving, while he could, around saying goodbye to people he cared about without actually saying goodbye. His co-workers had a cookout for him. Essentially he got to attend his own wake. People shook his hand and wished him well. He sat and watched people interact, children play, and people being people. His skin was yellow as his liver was falling. He held onto his dignity and stayed at home until the last couple of weeks when he went to hospice. His funeral was huge. He showed hundreds of people how to live with class and die with dignity and courage. At the end of the day all we can hope for is to do the same.
Fred,
This is a further gift
from this special forces combat veteran
to all of us:
you telling us about him.
I cry each time I read your recounting
of this courageous and loving man's
last months on earth.
His whole hearted living as he was dying
is so beautiful.
So tender.
So honorable.
Yes, just as you say:
"At the end of the day
all we can hope for
is to do the same."
In 2014 I was told that I had, at most, 5 yrs. to live. I'm now almost 5 yrs. past my experiation date. Drs. are just guessing and trying to keep you as a permanent patient. I never went back that dr. At first I thought; is there anything that I haven't done that I want to do before I die? There wasn't. I made out my will and figured they'd be nothing much left to leave. I didn't tell anyone except my wife about the prognoses and went about living the rest of my life. I've lived long enough and did everything I wanted to do and at 85 whenever the end comes will be ok. If the diagnoses would have come at say, age 50, I may have had a different response. I don't know.
Well, geo, count me among those
(including your inimitable sidekick Hayward
while he was still kicking)
who are damn glad
you are in no hurry to croak.
I need your fascinating and spirited
responses to my writing,
and I ain't in no hurry either.
Love how you are proving
that doomsayer doc wrong.
Small wonder, though,
given your earlier confession
that you live on poetry, literature and sex.
You're funny. (ha ha)
These days there's not much poetry or literature.
55555
you're funnier than me, kid!
I've had longer to work at it.