Emerson says that “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
To serve others you must put yourself forward. For introverts this is hard. But opening up and engaging with others as they are and where they are, as exhausting as it can be, is fulfilling like no other state of being. ✌️🖖
It is not so black and white—as very little is. I’ve always been willing to open up. However, others are not always willing to listen.
People I have known love to talk, talk, talk. Yet, seldom are they willing to listen.
The truth for me is problematic. I listen to others until my mind revolts and I go off daydreaming.
Sorry, but the writer Christofer Frye called it for me when he described the constant chatter of those around us as the ceremonial beating of the humdrum.
First, I am embarrassed to say that it took me 50 years to learn some of the lessons in your essay about selecting a partner. I am afraid I was a classic case of a guy thinking with the wrong head.
But...this time I built on a friendship to arrive at an excellent relationship. We already had the foundation of trust, respect, common values and LIKE. I had always had had an "eye for her". But I knew that perhaps this time I was also using my big head as well.
Second, please don't disparage horse manure. It is the perfect addition to an organic garden. /s
I tried to share but the rest of humanity responded,.."it's OK we're good,you keep it for yourself",the unspoken sub-text being of course..." we don't want a bar of you and by not accepting anything you offer we keep you OTHERED and not acceptably Human which is how we like it. Nietschze has very shrewd things to say about the psychological damage s belief system based on Sharing ie Christianity does when SHARING is knocked back. It's an exclusionary measure and essential for social Cohesion.
I have learned to let those type experiences be like me carrying a Geiger counter and detecting poisonous radiation warning me not a healthy place. Thus, I'm grateful for the warnings and just move on.
Love your style of writing. It compels close continuing attention to the unraveling thought. So glad you included all of the lyrics of “I Am a Rock.” One of my personal favorites.
I first heard that song about five years ago and was knocked out because it's ABOUT ME. Totally. As is THE FOOL ON THE HILL by Sir Paul MacCartney. Yet both were written in the 1960s. But I can be guilty of enjoying what the Americans call a 'pity party' my late Mum would snap me out of it and put me to some work to get on with. And as regards social interactions at least half the fault is mine. But it's still a valid point that if your offer to share is politely declined in some way it identifies you as 'the bad guy'.
I too went through a period of time when Simon and Garfunkel were the soundtrack of my life, and I learned a lot about myself and the people around me.
Now, although I avoid intruding on other people's lives uninvited, I prefer Jesse Colin Young's sentiment in the Youngbloods' tune - "come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another right now." I may never have a soul mate, but I am blessed with friends and family who I like and trust.
A LIFETIME OF LOVE
My Kari.
My first love.
Just fifteen.
My high school sweetheart.
My Judy.
My second love.
From eighteen to eighty.
Until death did us part.
My world shattered.
Poetry saved me and
a miracle happened.
My Kari.
My third love.
Joy returned.
Kari is my past and my future.
We are 15 and 16 again.
Plus 70 years.
And we will be together
as often as is humanly possible.
Emerson says that “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
To serve others you must put yourself forward. For introverts this is hard. But opening up and engaging with others as they are and where they are, as exhausting as it can be, is fulfilling like no other state of being. ✌️🖖
I replied to this without reading correctly. Sorry. So I deleted my reply. However, as much as I like the Transcendental movement, I disagree.
It is almost eerie how much some of your posts resonate with me. This one is like you see into my soul.
Good advice!
Wise words. Thanks for sharing Dr. Deborah!
It is not so black and white—as very little is. I’ve always been willing to open up. However, others are not always willing to listen.
People I have known love to talk, talk, talk. Yet, seldom are they willing to listen.
The truth for me is problematic. I listen to others until my mind revolts and I go off daydreaming.
Sorry, but the writer Christofer Frye called it for me when he described the constant chatter of those around us as the ceremonial beating of the humdrum.
On morning walk to quietude
Neighbors home bursting with escaping water
Cooling the black asphalt with spray
From his broken landscape hose
A single dove enjoys the flow
Out the gate and onto the street
Tree lined with full bush mesquites
Natural, not shaved by loud
Trimming tool of the landscapers
I hear birds singing with a chorus
Of speaker blare
providing needed directions
To the many women and single man
In their aquatics class
And the distant baseline from
Morning traffic
I watch the multitude of lone bicyclist
Slight grumbles passing the group ride
Occupying the breadth of the streets
Chattering as a flock of ducks in bliss
My park ramada is occupied
The female says a Dolorous hi
Her husband buried into his cell
Reading news in his American flag shirt
As their motorized scooters sit by
Patiently waiting to be of use
The city parks and recs arrives
In a truck and wagon like
A thunderous tank
To help restore the peace and tranquility
Of the section of watered grass
An island at the edge of nature.
From a few years ago:
Two poems I wrote a few years ago:
My Odyssey
I have listened to the sirens’s song
I have playfully ridden the waves
Of temptation with their enchantment
I have felt the bodies of many Circes
Delaying my journey home
I have navigated between Scylla and Charybdis
Losing many friends in the vortex or picked off
By the attacking talons of American culture
Now, alone, I find so many vortexes
And find myself swirling around
In the flux whirlpool of society
Trying to suck me into the drain
To be deposited into the cesspool
Of American greed and ignorance
A steel tank constructed capitalism
How is your air?
Tree branch fractals are singing a dirge
This morning in Tucson
Accompanied by an orchestra
Of wind chimes
Singing on the windy breath
Of the earth’s lungs
Bereaving the Smokey deaths
Of California trees and homes
Another fine letter. Two things:
First, I am embarrassed to say that it took me 50 years to learn some of the lessons in your essay about selecting a partner. I am afraid I was a classic case of a guy thinking with the wrong head.
But...this time I built on a friendship to arrive at an excellent relationship. We already had the foundation of trust, respect, common values and LIKE. I had always had had an "eye for her". But I knew that perhaps this time I was also using my big head as well.
Second, please don't disparage horse manure. It is the perfect addition to an organic garden. /s
I tried to share but the rest of humanity responded,.."it's OK we're good,you keep it for yourself",the unspoken sub-text being of course..." we don't want a bar of you and by not accepting anything you offer we keep you OTHERED and not acceptably Human which is how we like it. Nietschze has very shrewd things to say about the psychological damage s belief system based on Sharing ie Christianity does when SHARING is knocked back. It's an exclusionary measure and essential for social Cohesion.
You miserable cow.
I have learned to let those type experiences be like me carrying a Geiger counter and detecting poisonous radiation warning me not a healthy place. Thus, I'm grateful for the warnings and just move on.
Love your style of writing. It compels close continuing attention to the unraveling thought. So glad you included all of the lyrics of “I Am a Rock.” One of my personal favorites.
I first heard that song about five years ago and was knocked out because it's ABOUT ME. Totally. As is THE FOOL ON THE HILL by Sir Paul MacCartney. Yet both were written in the 1960s. But I can be guilty of enjoying what the Americans call a 'pity party' my late Mum would snap me out of it and put me to some work to get on with. And as regards social interactions at least half the fault is mine. But it's still a valid point that if your offer to share is politely declined in some way it identifies you as 'the bad guy'.
Long story about dark time I heard it and immediately loved it. However, for me it was a lie. I still felt pain and sometimes cried.
I too went through a period of time when Simon and Garfunkel were the soundtrack of my life, and I learned a lot about myself and the people around me.
Now, although I avoid intruding on other people's lives uninvited, I prefer Jesse Colin Young's sentiment in the Youngbloods' tune - "come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another right now." I may never have a soul mate, but I am blessed with friends and family who I like and trust.