Jan. 12, 1968, I was playing music in a club in Perth, Australia. At 8:45 PM we finished the first set and as I was walking off the stage, I turned to my right and saw a group of Asian young ladies sitting at a corner table. One of them caught my eye and I went over and talked to her. We spent the rest of the year together, then her education visa expired and my 5 yr. commitment expired. She went back to Thailand and I went back to the US. I was supposed to go to Thailand where we would be married but I never had enough money to do that and we drifted apart. Over the years I tried to find her but without success. Then in July of 2012 I received a friend request on Facebook from a young beautiful Thai woman asking if I would be her friend. I thought, why would a young beautiful Thai woman want to friend me. Then I noticed that she was the pianist with the Royal Bangkok Symphony Orch., and I thought she must be interested in the music that I play. I emailed back that I would be her friend if she would look for a person that I used to know and I told her the woman's family name, father's occupation and social status and said, I don't expect you to find her but if you'd look I'd appreciate it. An hour later she emailed back and said, "Oh, you know my mother Angelie." I sat and cried for half-an-hour. In July of 2013, she came to the US, we married and in Aug. moved to Thailand. 11 yrs. later I still have tears in my eyes as I type this.
Thank you. I’m going to share this wonderful piece with my 19 yo stepson who has a great capacity to love, I can see it. However, the world he lives in (social media, everything on the computer), makes it much harder than I had it in the 80’s. He has started getting out more, but not these kinds of activities you mention, which are brilliant. Thanks again.
Excellent advice Deborah and well done to expressly differentiate between seeking biological companionship and a deeper and more fulfilling relationship that includes but is not limited to or defined by sexual relations. Tough to do in our on line, short term society, but essential for real happiness.
I am reluctant to comment this, but a man has a very low chance of having a woman love him based on any gentlemanly qualities or being perceived as a nice and trustworthy person. Spending a bunch of time around women without moving things onto a romantic level the first or second time she meets you will result in a friend, which is fine, but not a love. Better to see which women are interested in you, and ask them out with clear intentions. You are correct about the toxic hook-up culture and toxic advice for men on how to manipulate women. I have only sisters, but I know if I treat a woman the way I would want my sister's treated, or the way they say they want to be treated, best I can hope for is that old "You're such a sweet guy, maybe you'd like to meet my friend".
Let me tell you a real story.
Jan. 12, 1968, I was playing music in a club in Perth, Australia. At 8:45 PM we finished the first set and as I was walking off the stage, I turned to my right and saw a group of Asian young ladies sitting at a corner table. One of them caught my eye and I went over and talked to her. We spent the rest of the year together, then her education visa expired and my 5 yr. commitment expired. She went back to Thailand and I went back to the US. I was supposed to go to Thailand where we would be married but I never had enough money to do that and we drifted apart. Over the years I tried to find her but without success. Then in July of 2012 I received a friend request on Facebook from a young beautiful Thai woman asking if I would be her friend. I thought, why would a young beautiful Thai woman want to friend me. Then I noticed that she was the pianist with the Royal Bangkok Symphony Orch., and I thought she must be interested in the music that I play. I emailed back that I would be her friend if she would look for a person that I used to know and I told her the woman's family name, father's occupation and social status and said, I don't expect you to find her but if you'd look I'd appreciate it. An hour later she emailed back and said, "Oh, you know my mother Angelie." I sat and cried for half-an-hour. In July of 2013, she came to the US, we married and in Aug. moved to Thailand. 11 yrs. later I still have tears in my eyes as I type this.
Just wow!
You could not sell that story as fiction George. That is beautiful.
Thanks Dave, I call it my Reader's Digest story.
Wow. Such a remarkable poignant essay. And so needed.
Thank you. I’m going to share this wonderful piece with my 19 yo stepson who has a great capacity to love, I can see it. However, the world he lives in (social media, everything on the computer), makes it much harder than I had it in the 80’s. He has started getting out more, but not these kinds of activities you mention, which are brilliant. Thanks again.
Excellent advice Deborah and well done to expressly differentiate between seeking biological companionship and a deeper and more fulfilling relationship that includes but is not limited to or defined by sexual relations. Tough to do in our on line, short term society, but essential for real happiness.
I am reluctant to comment this, but a man has a very low chance of having a woman love him based on any gentlemanly qualities or being perceived as a nice and trustworthy person. Spending a bunch of time around women without moving things onto a romantic level the first or second time she meets you will result in a friend, which is fine, but not a love. Better to see which women are interested in you, and ask them out with clear intentions. You are correct about the toxic hook-up culture and toxic advice for men on how to manipulate women. I have only sisters, but I know if I treat a woman the way I would want my sister's treated, or the way they say they want to be treated, best I can hope for is that old "You're such a sweet guy, maybe you'd like to meet my friend".
Be a lovable man by allowing yourself to be known and truly desiring to know the other. And clean your fingernails!
Brilliant!
This is a dynamite essay. And obviously it's not just for men. I'm going to use these very tops to look for my own tender builder. Well done!!!
I meant "tips," although your tips are indeed tops. 😝